Middletown Lyric Theatre presents “Maytag Virgin,” at 1530 Central Ave., Hamilton. Doors open at 6 p.m. with drawings starting at 7:30 a.m. Magic Carpet Family Performances present “Cows Don’t Fly and other known facts,” at Oxford Community Arts Center, 10 S. College Ave.. 7 p.m, fittoncenter.org SUNDAY, MARCH 17 Ohio’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade, at Donham Plaza